Do you know what a Huntsman Spider is? It’s a cross between a furry finger and the Thing from “The Munster’s.” I guess that’s the best way to describe it.
It’s an Australian native spider that live around most of the country.
Here’s a bit of info on this fella: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider
Now, this fella is not little – it can grow to over the size of your hand easily. And there’s as fast as lightning. I’ve been ‘managing’ having them around – but last night… was a “Tara vs the Huntsman” kinda night.
Now, to properly understand the horror I went though last night, here’s a little youtube video I found of a guy trying to do ‘the right thing’ and save the huntsman – they’re non poisonous, apparently and docile creatures.. but man… anything that looks like that fang bearing, blood sucking creature cant be good for you.
Yeah. You see that. You think that I really want to get involved with a spider as big as a small dinner plate. No thank you. So, I grabbed my trusty spray can – it was his wrong move to enter my bedroom anyway… and I walked up to the wall he was hanging onto. That little fucker went for me. He really did… He knew exactly what was going on and his fate.. and he lunged at me. Well, I did what any good saine person would do and I sprayed him with half a can of spray. Well, you’d never had guessed, but he went for me again… straight to the feet. So I sprayed him with the rest.. and he started to stagger into the living room.
I closed the door and attempted to breathe again though all the fumes.
Not five minutes later.. I could hear what sounded like ‘tap dancing’ – i dont know of any spider that tap dances…. but this one raps.
I cant go out there. I seriously cant. So I call my amazing boyfriend who’s in another state and tell him how I was recently attacked by a killer spider. And while on the phone and saying that if this spider opens the door, that I’m going into the shower/panic room. What happens? The frickin spider opens the door.. and I scream! He laughs… I nearly die in the bathroom – hiding out from this ‘killer huntsman’
Well, after a few minutes I go to investigate. Turns out Mr. Spidey brought his friend as back up – yeah. An EVEN BIGGER HUNTSMAN as back up! WTF. These guys are smart. Now, at this point, I’m jumping at anything – if the blanket touches my arm the wrong way.. I’m flinching. I’m also trying to skype one of my mates from America. Yeah, that’s interesting for them. America doesn’t have any giant six legged furry plate sized spiders so, my friend is just as scared – even virtually.
I really wish I recorded this, because it’s hilarious. I set the laptop on the floor facing the action so there’s proof that if I do in fact die.. I have a witness. And i walk toward the giant creature. Now, I’ve heard that if you look them in the eyes and walk slowly kinda like Crocodile Dundee you can outsmart them.. So I gave it my best impression.
Except put a can or Raid in my hand… So I gave him a good dousing. He ran off…
Okay.. he’s far away. on the other side. I think I’m okay.. but he’s not dead. He’s crawling up the wall… I’m about to die. So, I scope out the area for a bit… and wait… and wait… and you wouldn’t believe it. He lunges for me. I nearly do a barrel roll on the ground – my friend is cheering me on in the background absolutely horrified. I throw the can of raid into the other hand and then BAM.. another dose of RAID. He’s off…
I’m about to lose my lunch from the smell of the fumes… and meeting a spider that’s outsmarting me. I return back to my refuge for a bit of comfort…
By this point, the tap-dancing has stopped. I’m feeling a bit calmer.. and less jumpy.. so I go and see if the coast is clear… I creek the door open, and have a look…. no movement. I take a step…
You’re not going to believe this.
He’s on the OTHER WALL NOW. Now, this one spider is either really pissed off and inviting all his little friends… or he’s just super badass seeking revenge Quentin Tarantino style.
I’ve had enough at this point… and douse him again – this time… it’s to the death. He falls off the wall into a heap.. and I give him one last spray for good measure. He’s dead. For good.
I’m emotionally exhausted. The James Bond of Spiders nearly had me. And, sadly, that one smart spider didn’t have enough brains to live like a normal spider outside.. so he died.
I thought I’d end this on a more positive note. They’re actually really great creatures. Harmless… But after what I went though last night, the little buggers are smart – too smart and furry and big and scary. My tip to Mr. Huntsman, stay outside where you belong.
A girl gone walkabout in the great big world!