On the way to Kinsale
I always said that I’d write about the good, the bad and the ugly. But, what happened over the past 48 hours… well, let me try and explain.
I wanted to go to Kinsale. It was recommended by a former workmate as a MUST VISIT destination. They weren’t wrong. The side streets reminded me of a multitude of Disney films. Kinsale is absolutely GORGEOUS and I loved being there. However, something happened along the way that I really can’t explain.
I’ve been putting in a lot of kilometres. My longest bicycling trek was 60k… So, when I say that I had a super emotional time for a measly 25k and I have no idea why, I really mean it.
So far, I’ve been in Ireland for an entire month and I’ve had an absolutely amazing time. The hills aren’t that different than anything else I’ve experienced already on this adventure and to be honest, I have no dramas walking up hills. I get it. Sometimes you just gotta walk up them. That’s cool. But, out of frickin nowhere – up hills, down hills… whatever – I somehow became super emotional for no apparent reason. I think I need to have a long think about what may have set this all off – I also think it’s also really important to discuss this – like not just me, but anyone who’s having a rough time. What I’m trying to say is… It’s ok to talk to people. 
It’s ok to get emotional. It’s ok that you don’t know what caused it, or even why for that matter. I’m not beating myself up. Sure it felt really weird. I had no idea why I felt the way I did. And that’s totally ok.
The landscape and views I experienced on my way to Kinsale were super gorgeous and ya know what, I cried over that. I walked up hills and I cycled down hills; I cried over that… I cruised the streets of Kinsale… yep cried… see the trend… I seriously love aviators. They are fabbo at making you normal when you don’t feel it. And I still have no idea why I was all emotional.
Then, later that night, I cruised around to a recommended Irish pub. This is where I saw one of the most gorgeous Irish sunsets I’ve ever seen…. I had a MASSIVE cry over by the water and I felt like crap. I didn’t want to cry… I wanted to be awesome, but I was crying.. uggghhhh…… I wanted my emotions to just stop. It was getting super annoying but my body just needed this release. Perhaps it’s been a build up of everything. It’s been a pretty amazing experience so far. The Irish people have been kind, the views have been gorgeous and everything has been fun. I am so utterly grateful. I know a lot of that came out in tears. Thanks Ireland.
The next day, I felt pretty exhausted – emotionally, physically and mentally. I went for breakfast… I didn’t feel 100% but I felt a lot better after a cup of coffee. I was less of a zombie but for some reason still felt really lost. It was so weird. Then, whilst bicycling back to Cork, I had one final cry in the middle of a country road in the middle of nowhere. Then, right on cue, the Irish skies opened up and I mean… OPENED UP, like monsooned all over me… There were MASSIVE rain drops. I let out the most massive roar – put my hands out and just let the rain pelt my face. It felt amazing. I laughed.
I think what I’m trying to say in a very poorly written way: Sometimes things happen for reasons that you can’t explain. Sometimes, things happen that make you feel a certain way… and there’s no real answer. It’s ok not to know. Perhaps in the future I’ll know why, but right now I’m ok with what I experienced. It was kinda really cool. I feel really good right now. The rain soothed me. Perhaps Ireland needed a big cry, too.
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May be that big breakfast effected you emotionally? Glad the Irish rain brought you back to something approaching sanity (what you are doing has an element of the insane about it!). Where are you headed next? BTW, I visited Kinsale last year for the first time, and you are right: it is a beautiful town.
Currently in Dublin, but I’m switching gears and making an announcement real soon about where I’m heading next!
We all feel like that sometimes. You have been running around nonstop since arriving here…..constantly updating us on your journey. The consequence of this is exhaustion and detachment from ‘normal routine’. You probably need to go offline for a few days, get a comfortable room to yourself and sleep. When the batteries are recharged … get on that bike. Make time just for yourself😳
Cheers, thanks for that – I’ve just announced that I’m switching gears to head over to Germany to do some pretty amazing social media reporting for the European Space agency for the #ExoMars Mission – that’ll help!
Thanks for the kid words!
Hey Tara…thanks for sharing that – always better to talk about it than bottle it up.
I am now open about my general anxiety, the way it can manifest itself in so many different ways…both physically and mentally.
I’m first generation English (I know…don’t hold that against me haha) – the rest of my family are all Irish.
I was sceptical at first about opening up…I thought…”I’m a bloke, I don’t do that kind of thing….I’m off down the pub for a pint, that’ll sort me out”. But the tipping point was the panic attacks….holy cow, I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy. I got to the point where I felt sick and tried of being sick and tired.
I’m not saying that that’s what you have…I can sympathise with the randomness of your event – there are some days when the anxiety kicks and I have no idea why. I’ve learnt to deal with it myself….no medication, no sat in circle spilling everything in front of others….definitely not for me – 1 to 1 works fine.
Keep going Tara, don’t give it up…..maybe you’re a tad homesick? It’s has been and will continue to be great following you on the ol’ twittersphere – you’ve inspired me to have a go next year – I’m going to travel the full distance of the Wild Atlantic Way…I can’t wait.
Paddy x
Thanks for sharing your story. As I’ve been travelling on the bike, I’ve realised that we ALL have stories and deep down we all have things we are dealing with….
I was a bit skeptical writing it at first because I didn’t want to have a winge, but I really want people to know that I’m normal. I’m nothing special. I’m just a girl on a bike who wanted to go on an adventure. I’m just like any other person out there – with feelings and emotions – and it’s ok to have them! I hope some good comes out of what I experienced.
I’m glad you feel inspired to get out there! Enjoy it – it’s awesome!
Now that is an announcement, hope you will come back to finish your trip. Sounds like your body and Mind just told you why you up sticks and headed in the first place. Be careful of this land (Ireland)you speak, She has been known to capture your mind and allow you to be free.
You Tara, are an awesome human being! I agree with the above. Stop. Rest. Take in all the beauty around you. Be kind to yourself. We are all thinking of you & admire your adventurous spirit. I’m leaving nine at the end of next week 21st Oct & off to explore new horizons. Hope to catchup with you down the track! All the best & stay safe buddy. Sarah xxx
Everytime a baby needs to communicate something, they cry. Sometimes things are just so overwhelming, and it’s hard to articulate why. Crying is the ultimate valve release for that. There’s a song by The Flaming Lips called ‘Do You Realise’ that has one of my favourite quotes: “Do you realise … that happiness makes you cry?” I highly recommend adding this song to your music collection if possible. Like crying, it’s awesome.
There’s a third arm to ‘seeing’ and ‘doing’ wonderful, exciting, fulfilling things. I’ll bet you know to what I am referrring. I hope Germany and the ESA reporting go really well and oh… did I say that I’m jealous? Have a great time Tara.
Thanks for the follow, Tara, and good luck with the reporting job. One of my Irish friends belongs to the Irish astronomical society. I’m sure he’ll be interested. If you post a link I’ll forward it to him. (Of course, he may already know!).
Oh cool! I’ll write a blog about it eventually but I’ll be using social media mostly – Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and probably some Periscope if I have good wifi. ☺️
Having a big cry is a great release and can be a great reset for your emotions. Very healthy. I couldn’t even imagine ever being brave enough to do something like what you’re doing, you’re amazing!! 🙂
Thanks Cade! X