Travel Rockstar Status – DENIED.

Just when you think you’re a travel rockstar, the universe has a way of saying NOPE.

The drama all started when I couldn’t sort out my flight’s boarding pass. I downloaded the iPhone application on good recommendation. I was really stoked that they even had an app because I know that flying a budget airline can be a paaaaiiiiinnnnn – and I wanted everything sorted before I left for Frankfurt. I’m a traveller – I don’t print stuff. I’m a digital nomad. I live on the coattails of 1’s and 0’s and I prefer it.  However, it became quite clear that the digital age we now live in is not quite digital.  Ya see, my carrier required me to print my boarding pass.  My gawd – I can’t remember the last time I printed a boarding pass.  In Australia, I’ve always checked in online and then approached a kiosk at the airport and that just printed for me. Welp, I’m in a different country now. I need to play by their rules!

Ok cool.  No dramas!

I figured I’d use the next day to go in search of a printer – but wouldn’t you know it, I got all distracted by awesomsoneness… basically life happened and I was hanging out at Facebook! – I COMPLETELY FORGOT to print my boarding pass – aahhhh buggar.  Fine. I’ll do it at the airport.  Sigh.  This will cost an absolute fortune. I go to the counter and was then told to go to another counter…. and was pretty much the lady made sure that I knew I was the village idiot for not printing out a piece of paper – this mistake would cost me €15!  Whatever. I failed at this travel thing. I’ll pay your stinkin €15!  But the person took mercy on me. She saw my Aussie passport and quivering bottom lip and waved the fee – #Winning! I just now reached travel rockstar status…. but hold the phone! Right now, I’m about to lose all those accumulated coins that I just used fist-pumping like Super Mario.

Ya see… I booked my ticket to Frankfurt – but that ticket is actually now taking me to a little town about 1.5 hrs away called Hahn.  I never curse on this blog, but F#<K!! Srsly guise – no. Just NO.

You can’t call it FRANKFURT if you’re frickin 90 minutes FROM Frankfurt.  That’s just super unfair.  So I’ve come up with the perfect tagline for my carrier:  Ryanair – they get you close-ish to where you want to go.  I just flew to the wrong airport without REALLY trying.

Oh Travel.  It’s like we’re in a relationship – you’re exciting and fun and then, you throw me a total curve ball that I just don’t understand… ya see, travel, you didn’t fly me to Frankfurt, Germany – you flew me to a teeny little town with a shed next to a runway named Hahn.  Oh, and travel – I now mean RyanAir.

Here I am thinking I’m nearly 15 minutes to my destination because the transport in Germany is good and the airport is so close to where I need to be, yet… somehow RyanAir dumped me in a shed a good two hours from where I need to be..  Not all is lost – for an extra €14, I got a great 90 minute tour of German countryside! (T’s and C’s apply)In the end, I should have taken on board all the warning signs… Booking the flight was super easy, the 15 minute train ride to my final destination seemed painless and everything was chugging away with no dramas… but now, there’s a bit of a drama. I’m only here for like 50 hours reporting on a very important space mission for the European Space Agency and now, I gotta figure out a way to hightail it back to the airport without missing my flight.  Oh, and the airport is so frickin small that there’s absolutely NO WAY that the flight will be delayed… 

So, RyanAir – thank you for keeping my travel exciting.