Your True Blue Aussie Cheat Sheet

So it’s your first time to Australia and you’re not so sure about the spiders as big as your hand or the poisonous things that lurk in the shower.  No worries mate!  They’re actually the least of your worries!  And, to soothe your fears, I’ve compiled the no-nonsense true blue IAC2017 cheat sheet to being Australian!  

Here’s a not so complete list (because that’s very Australian) highlighting some of the things you should do and try whilst you’re in a country with personality as big as the outback!

1. Adopt words like  “no worries” and “too right” to your daily chats.  Seriously!  If you want to feel like a local, then you sound like one!  This is the gateway experience for anybody that wants to think, feel and BE Australian.  Be sure when you say “no worries,” you use it ALL THE TIME!  Instead of saying “uh huh” or “yeah” choose “no worries!” The same is true for “too right!” Instead, reserve this phrase for matters when you’re shocked or surprised.  
2. Bundaberg Ginger Beer – This is a MUST taste test for anyone wanting to be Australian. It’s been served on every flight I’ve ever taken in Australia and if you want to branch out a bit, order a Lemon Lime and Bitters at the pub. Firstly, if you’re trying to stay off the tinnies (beers) but still want to feel respectable with your new Aussie mates, it is perfectly acceptable to give this true blue, non-alcoholic classic a go!  It’s tasty!  You’re welcome.
3. Try a meat pie and don’t forget the tomato sauce – This is the no-nonsense gateway feed to being Aussie.  Firstly, make sure that your meat pie is hot enough to take the skin off the roof of your mouth.  There is just no other way to enjoy it.  It MUST be this hot.  Secondly, go fourth and be liberal with the tomato sauce. Drown that meat pie in the tasty red stuff… and, get into it!  Make a proper mess of it!  If you somehow haven’t managed to spill this gift from the Aussie gods all over your shirt, you’re just not trying hard enough!  Also, don’t ask what’s inside the meat pies… Proper Aussie meat pies come in “mystery meat” flavour. 
4. Coffee for the win – I can’t stress enough how important coffee culture is to Australians.  We’re snobs. We know our coffee to milk ratio and we’ll argue until you back down and accept the fact that our coffee is the best in the world.  You’ll never win an Aussie coffee fight with us so just forget it, accept it and enjoy it.  Tell us it’s the best coffee in the world and order every single type of coffee and drink it because we both know it’ll be the best you’ll ever have. 
   

   

   The ‘how to’ cheat sheet!

   

   Making Coffee at Sydney Bar School
5. Get a pair of thongs (sandals) and wear it with a suit. Not one Australian will question you. Instead, you’ll look like the Aussie local you’ve set out to be and you will command respect from your fellow Australians. Havaianas are the chosen footwear for all Aussies.  I’m not exactly sure why, but it’s been ingrained in us from an early age.  We all have at least 4 pair, and a few spare, too!  And, they come in handy when you have a blow out (broken sandal) because, no worries, just mix and match!
6. Chuck a sickie – there’s nothing more Aussie that skipping a day of work (or conference) to do something fun! Go on! Go for a surf!  Do it! Practice that cough of yours and blame it on that person sitting next to you on that 14 hour flight from somewhere and mention “jet lag” in the conversation.  You owe this to yourself and Australia’s beautiful beaches.  Also, the good news is, whilst in Adelaide, you can take the tram to the beach! Seriously.